The Hardest Heart Day

I wanted to take the kids out to see where my Mom was buried, Joel is always asking me about my Mom and for me to tell him stories about when I was little and about my Mom. I showed him pictures of her when I was little and then I took them out to the cemetry. Crystal and Rylee went with us and Crystal brought flowers, (buried next to my Mom is my sister Debbie).

What, made this the hardest heart day? After we got there and we placed the flowers on the grave and took a photo of the kids and I had never taken a photo of the headstone and I just wanted one, because I rarely get back to Texas anymore and Dad will be 83 in two weeks and perhaps not that many more trips left for me to take and I just want something to remember.






Well anyway back to the story. Joel, said "Mom are you going to introduce us to your Mom?" UH! I had to catch my breath and I looked at Crystal and I said Joel give me just a minute and yes I will introduce you to your Grandmother. Tears and all, I couldn't help it, even as I type this the tears flow. I told my Mom, she would love Joel and Hope and how precious her Grandchildren where and I knew she was watching from above. Then Joel said "can we talk with her too"? So, Joel said just a short hello and glad that he was able to come and sorry that he really never got to see her alive and only her pictures and again my tears flowed.


Then Hope, she talked for 10 minutes and it was 100degress in the hot Texas sun, no breeze and no trees. She talked about bringing her flowers and if they died it was okay, and she loved her, and then she went into Hope language and I have no idea what she was saying to her.

We then got in the car and went and got something cold to drink and headed back to Dad's.

I found John and cried on his shoulder for a long time. My Mom died 3 days before John and I were married and that was 15 years ago. I don't think you ever lose that void of losing your Mom, the pain eases but a Mom is someone so very precious, someone that shares in your joys, your sorrows, your pains, does not judge you bad decisions and rejoices with you when good comes your way, she is your confidant and in life you may friend a very close friend to share with and your husband like mine maybe your very special special friend but there is NO ONE LIKE MOM!